


for you, I'd try (for you, I'd do anything)

by totalsafety



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 10:56:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4561902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totalsafety/pseuds/totalsafety
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It turns out bronze statues are only magnificent in daylight. At night, they’re just another dark shadow, reminding us the only way to live forever is to lose everything that makes us human.</p>
            </blockquote>





	for you, I'd try (for you, I'd do anything)

“What is it, Ronan?”

“Gansey’s missing.” 

Adam jolts awake at the panic radiating through the phone, throwing off his covers to search for his sneakers in the dark. 

“Since when?” 

“An hour. Maybe more. He’s not here, but the Pig is. Noah says he saw him leave in an Aglionby sweater. He was wearing an **_Aglionby sweater_** , Adam.”

Adam swears, both at Ronan’s words and his laces, which refuse to unknot. He stuffs his foot in anyway, leaving his heel to fold down the back of the shoe.

“Don’t drive to Monmouth. Just drive. Noah left to tell Blue. We have to find him before—”

“I know. I know. We will. I’ll call you.” 

Adam hangs up and flies down the stairs, throwing a look towards the statue of Mary. He hopes she can see how much they need all the help good luck divine intervention speed good luck focus clear roads clear minds good luck they can get.

* * *

Climbing over another boulder, Adam scouts left and right and left again for any sign of a boy with a time limit in an Aglionby sweater. Cloaked in Henrietta darkness, Gansey could be anywhere. Adam could’ve already looked at him and missed it, the navy blending with the night. He makes it to the waterfront before he sees Gansey slumped a few feet away on the shore. Without the sun to highlight his hair, without the luminescence of his pastel clothes in daylight, Gansey just looks dim. Still regal, still brilliant, but sad and tired and dimmed. 

Hearing the gravel crunch under Adam’s shoes, Gansey looks up. Adam smiles thinly, sitting down beside him criss-cross. He tries very hard to disguise the relief in his exhale. 

Gansey watches Adam sit, going back to sifting gravel after they’re shoulder to shoulder. Both boys wait for the other to start, but neither of them do. It’s minutes of silence before Adam gets restless. 

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m just tired.”

“Isn’t that what sleep is for?”

“Ha.”

“So do—”

“I don’t know, Adam,” Gansey whispers. “I don’t know what I’m doing. Sometimes, I look at my journal and I can’t tell what is of value and what is extraneous. I don’t know how to resolve any of this.“ Gansey makes a wild, sudden gesture at the air in front of them.

“I’m scared that this is too big. That I won’t be able to find anything as monumental afterwards. And I know I won’t be satisfied with anything less. Not anymore. I don’t know how to be me without Glendower. And I don’t want to be the person I was before him.”

Adam absorbs the outburst, shocked at the anxiety laced in the last sentences. He recognizes the panic building in Gansey from when panic builds in himself. Except, in Gansey, it takes a much different form. It’s contained, shoved down into recesses until this happens. Until the pressure exceeds capacity. Until the only place that fits the definition of confessional anymore is a rocky beach in the middle of the night. 

He’s never had to comfort anyone before, because comfort is a byproduct of emotional reciprocity. It’s _I care about you_ and _you would do the same for me_ and _you **have** done the same for me_ and _I know my touch would help you more than any words ever could right now_. 

He’s not sure how any of this works. While Adam tries to think of what Noah would do, Gansey rests his forehead on his knees, almost curled into a ball. Tentatively, Adam reaches out. He wraps his arms around the other’s body, cocooning him in what Adam hopes to be a comforting gesture. 

Gansey leans into it, lifting his head to move it to Adam’s shoulder. They sit until Adam remembers he hasn’t called Ronan yet. Upon Ronan’s insistence, Adam reluctantly hands Gansey the phone. He hears Ronan yelling through the line and watches Gansey nod and apologize. 

_We can’t lose him_ , Adam thinks. What he refuses to even acknowledge is _what are we going to do without him_.


End file.
